Let’s Talk About Women…

VIVE = She lives! (And deserves respect!) Mendoza, Argentina, 2015

News of late compels me to offer up…

…some background on women’s struggle for recognition and rights, a short personal confession, some statistics about women, a Tweet, a John Lennon song that may seriously offend you, and, finally (after a motivational video) some ideas on how we men might work alongside women for positive change…

…and, since this is a photography blog, at the end, I leave you with a few relevant images from my Ghost Women portfolio.

Background – Feminism (A two-minute primer)

With #MeToo, International Woman’s Day on March 8, the Sarah Everard case in the UK, the recent murders in Georgia at the three spas, and sooo much more… feminism is back in the streets and on the front page and it has been for a while now.

But this isn’t their first picnic. Nope.

As a matter-of-fact, some historians divide the modern feminist movement in the United States into four waves–so, this is at least their fourth picnic.

A summary:

The First Wave – Starting with the Seneca Falls Convention of 1848 in New York, this wave takes us all the way into the early 20th century. Issues included the simple recognition of gender equality, to the right to vote, to the prohibition of alcohol, and even early birth control education. In 1920, the 19th Amendment finally granted suffrage to women (well, white women, anyway), symbolizing the end of this first phase.

Luminaries include: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, Susan B. Anthony, Lucy Stone, Henry Blackwell, Julia Ward Howe, Virginia Louisa Minor, Victoria Woodhull, Myra Bradwell, Sojourner Truth, Frances Willard, and Margaret Higgins Sanger, et al.

The Second Wave – Many women took an active role on the home front during World War II, working in factories, even ferrying fighter planes and bombers between bases as pilots. They must have told some good stories to motivate their daughters and that’s all it took to light off this second wave–the turbulent, burn-your-bra, 1960s (the guys burned their draft cards). Many issues were addressed, including male chauvinism/sexism, media objectification of women, equal pay for equal work, employment discrimination, birth control, no-fault divorce, housing discrimination, and financial (credit) discrimination. An Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was proposed, but never ratified–considered by many to be a huge failure of the movement (and unfinished business).

Luminaries/organizations include:  Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, National Organization for Women (NOW), and Phyllis Schlafly, et al.

The Third Wave – This wave kicks off in 1991 with the highly publicized Supreme Court nomination hearings of Clarence Thomas, a man accused by Anita Hill of sexual harassment. Issues of the day, then, included sexual harassment and discrimination, promoting more women into positions of leadership, and a closer examination of women’s roles in society, as well as gender roles in general, sexuality, beauty, and womenhood.

Luminaries/publications/organizations include: Anita Hill, Rebecca Walker, Ms. Magazine, the riot grrrl movement, Madonna, Queen Latifah, Angelina Jolie, Emma Watson, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Susan McClary and Marcia Citron, et al. 

The Fourth Wave – This is apparently what we are seeing before us right now with, for example, the #MeToo movement, all magnified by social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, et al). The focus this time seems to be on justice for women, halting violence against women, and calling attention to sexual harassment on the street and in the workplace, to include campus sexual assault, rape culture, and trans issues. Scandals/perpetrators of the times: Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, Jeffrey Epstein, the 2012 gang rape in Delhi, Roger Ailes, among many others.

Luminaries/events/organizations: #MeToo, the Women’s Marches, Michelle Obama, Jameela Jamil, Munroe Bergdorf, Andy Murray, Adwoa Aboah, Margaret Atwood, Ryan Coogler, Gloria Steinem (still!), Emma Watson, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Angela Davis, Roxane Gay, Billie Jean King, Laura Bates, Malala Yousafzai, Tarana Burke, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Oprah Winfrey, Prince Harry, Beyoncé, Serena Williams, the multitudes of courageous and concerned women (and men) who have shown up at protests and marches, and many, many others.

Wow. It seems to me… why not fix a few things so history doesn’t have to record the dates and characteristics of a “Fifth Wave”?

A Personal Confession

Do I practice what I am preaching in this blog post? I like to think I am–now. But, it wasn’t always this way with me.

Although I was never violent and always tried to treat women politely and gently, in my younger years, I was quite guilty of the following…

…manipulating women into sex.

…tending to sexualize and objectify women based on their body parts and their beauty.

…telling jokes or stories that were sexist and did not portray women in the best light.

…going to strip clubs and watching porn.

…keeping silent while others told sexist/chauvinist jokes and stories.

…perhaps other more subtle behaviors and attitudes that I am not yet aware of but will become conscious of as I continue my “recovery” in this area.

I offer my apology to all women for my actions in the past. I was wrong and it was hurtful behavior on my part.

Guys, how does my list compare to yours? Do you identify with anything? Interested in becoming a better you?

Some Stats from the World Health Organization (WHO)

–Across their lifetime, 1 in 3 women, around 736 million world-wide, are subjected to physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence from a non-partner – a number that has remained largely unchanged over the past decade.

–1 in 4 young women in the world (aged 15-24 years) who have been in a relationship will have already experienced violence by an intimate partner by the time they reach their mid-twenties.

Some Stats from the U.S. Center For Disease Control (CDC)

–About 1 in 5 women report having experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.

–About 1 in 5 women have experienced contact sexual violence from an intimate partner.

–About 35% of female intimate partner violence (IPV) survivors experience some form of physical injury related to (IPV).

–About 10% of women report having been stalked by an intimate partner.

–About 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner. (Mostly men killing women.)

–Over half of female homicide victims in the U.S. are killed by a current or former male intimate partner.

Some Brilliant Slogans

–Instead of “Protect our daughters!“, try “Educate our sons!”

—Feminists aren’t anti-men. We’re pro-human.

–This one has been around for awhile and it’s brilliant: A woman’s place is in the House and in the Senate.

–For you males with a hidden inferiority complex: Men of quality do not fear equality.

–For the nostalgic: I am Woman; hear me roar! (From the Helen Reddy song, 1971)

An Angry Tweet

“We change our routes home, we cross the road to avoid being catcalled, we change our clothes, we hold keys in our fists, we wear trainers so we can run, we have our friends on speed dial, we get taxis to avoid walking at late night. WOMEN ARE NOT THE ONES WHO NEED TO CHANGE.”

–Sian Meades-Williams, March 10, 2021

A Song That May Offend You: Woman Is The Nigger Of The World (John Lennon and Yoko Ono, 1972)

The response from Black leaders when the song came out, you ask? Were they offended? Well, this was apparently written as a personal note to John and Yoko:

“If you define niggers as someone whose lifestyle is defined by others, whose opportunities are defined by others, whose role in society is defined by others, then good news!–you don’t have to be black to be a nigger in this society. Most of the people in America are niggers.” 

–Ron Dellums, (1935-2018, one-time member of the U.S. House of Representatives and leader of the Black Caucus)

Part Of The Solution: A TED Talk

What can men do? First, watch this video, then look at the “To Do” List that follows

Violence against women–it’s a men’s issue, by Jackson Katz, Ph.D.; 19 minutes

Action! A To Do List For Men

–Start walking the walk with the basic, obvious stuff that shouldn’t have to be said: don’t be agressive, abusive, or violent toward women, whether you do it physically, emotionally, or psychologically. If this is your standard MO, get some help–therapy, 12-Step group, whatever.

–Push back HARD against male friends and colleagues who do any of the above. Report them to the authorities if you believe life or limb may be in danger.

–Challenge anyone who tries to stereotype, make sexist comments/jokes, or objectify women. To be silent is to be complicit.

–If you are in a position of power (business, government, sports, entertainment) you have a special responsibility. Use your privileged platform to promote women’s rights/interests as well as overall diversity in your organization.

–Understand that diversity makes your organization stronger–you’ll have many more perspectives from which to understand problems and find creative solutions.

–Give honest, constructive feedback to your female employees/subordinates–and help find them a mentor!

–Don’t interrupt women during conversation–open your ears.

–Share the admin stuff/housework whether at home or at work.

–Mentor or sponsor other women (and, guys, without thinking of how you can get sexually involved).

–Make sure women get the credit they deserve for their accomplishments.

–Let women make their own decisions.

–Avoid “mansplaning”, sexting, catcalling, or any other “macho” behaviors.

–Respect a woman’s personal space–avoid unwanted touching, intrusions.

–Talk with other men about women’s issues.

–Don’t watch porn. Don’t frequent strip bars.

–Donate to women’s movements, scholarships, shelters, and organizations.

–Go to a protest with your wife, girlfriend, mother, daughter, sister, or other female or trans friend. Carry a sign.

–Write and call your representatives in the House and Senate.

–Have regular age-appropriate talks with your sons and daughters, as they grow up, about sexuality, acceptable social behavior, and healthy relationships based on mutual respect, honesty, and vulnerability.

–Finally, ask the women around you what they need from YOU!

In Conclusion, A Few Related Images

(After all, this is a photography blog, right?)

Ghost Women, #1 (Looking Up To Hope), Denver, Colorado, 2016

Ghost Women, #16 (Dreams in a Box), Mendoza, Argentina, 2016

Ghost Women, #29 (Relationship Deformation), Mendoza, Argentina, 2016

Ghost Women, #30 (Invisible at Age 50), Mendoza, Argentina, 2016

Ghost Women, #70 (Trapped by Trauma), Barcelona, 2017